Chock Full O' Whatever

I often wonder what secret ambitions people harbor. I, myself, am relatively low in the ambition department, but even so I’ve entertained many highly unlikely career paths along the road to my current occupation.

Here’s an annotated and by no means exhaustive list …

Grocery bagger (fits the low ambition criteria nicely)
Gas station attendant (no explanation necessary)
Philosopher (again, no explanation necessary)
An essayist (also known as my Emerson Period ... still kinda wanna be this one)
Museum curator (mainly involves wearing cordouroy and sweaters)
Photojournalist (my people phobia made this one particularly challenging)
Doctor (you don’t have to laugh THAT loud)

Actual unlikely jobs I’ve had … all temp, of course:

Law office file room clerk (still, they didn’t have to fire me!)
Spanish translator (Google’s language tool only gets one so far)
“Wife” to an undercover investigator guy (I just had to pretend I was with a guy checking out a real estate scheme … weird)

So what’re your unrealized and/or unwittingly realized career ambitions?